


Toddlers are Already Demons

by Scarlet_Streak



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Especially in the third chapter, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Little bit of romance if you squint, Multi, Only with the adults, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Toddlers, hex gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Streak/pseuds/Scarlet_Streak
Summary: Y/N doesn’t know whose hex backfired, and they don’t really care. What they do care about is the 7 toddlers now running rampant in the House of Lamentation and the distinct lack of help. Toddlers are already basically demons, so how are they supposed to handle 3-year-olds that are the embodiment of sins? Maybe they should call for reinforcements.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 30
Kudos: 376
Collections: Obey Me





	1. Something Isn't Right

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a message I sent to a friend: "I have coached three-year-olds in basketball. I know when someone needs a hug. That’s all any of the brothers are. Tell me I’m wrong; three-year-olds with MC as the baby sitter."
> 
> I had multiple people beta-read this for me, but please let me know if I made any errors. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

You usually enjoy your classes at R.A.D.--at least, more than classes in the human world. However, the distinct lack of your favorite demon brothers from your day has you worried. Sure, most of them would be willing to skip school for various reasons and you rarely see Levi actually on campus anyway. However, you’ve never seen Lucifer miss a class for a positive reason before. So, once the day is over, you hurry home, half because of your worries and half because of your worry from lack of escort. You could have called Diavolo or Barbatos, but you didn’t want to bother the future king of Devildom with babysitting and you knew Barbatos had more than enough to do without having to escort you.

As you approach the familiar building, something feels off, a feeling that is only heightened by the sounds of high-pitched wailing that you hear as you get closer to the front door. Nothing seems out of the ordinary upon first glance after opening the door, but you let out a startled scream as two tiny forms suddenly grab onto each of your legs. Your terror turns to confusion as you realize your captors are two sobbing toddlers, one with a messy shock of white hair and the other with strawberry-blond curls. You kneel down, carefully removing their clinging hands from your pants. “Hey there, little dudes. How’d you get in here?” 

The blond looks at you with a charming smile and wipes his nose and face with his sleeve while the white-haired one throws his arms around you tightly, continuing to sob. “Y/N, no going away again!” Alright, they know you already. But how? You stand back up, shifting his weight to your hip as you venture further into the house where you can hear more crying coming from the kitchen. You and your two companions find another toddler, this one with bright red hair, plopped down in despair in front of the fridge. There’s something familiar about the pleading purple eyes staring up at you, and an insistent rumbling from the toddler’s stomach finally puts all the pieces into place. “Beel?”

The sobbing stops and the redhead hugs your legs. “Hungry!”

“Of course you are, honey.” You pull some food from the refrigerator that seems fairly toddler-safe--at least, you don’t remember it being too spicy or anything--and place it in Beel’s appreciative hands before turning to the other toddlers clinging to you. “That would make you Asmo,” you boop him on the nose and are rewarded with a giggle, “and Mammon.”

Mammon clings to you tighter and nods. “Alright, let’s go find the others.”

You barely make it three steps into the main room before you rethink your plan of letting the toddlers accompany you as Beel requests snacks, Asmo gets distracted by a mirror, and Mammon starts to cry again as you try to put him down. Despite his protests, you get the three of them settled on the couch before issuing a firm, “Stay.” Thankfully, your pacts with the demons still seem to be intact--Mammon’s cries and grabbing hands get him no closer to you. Unencumbered by these adorably tiny versions of your favorite demons, you begin your quest to find the other brothers. On a hunch, you check Beel and Belphie’s room to find the youngest brother curled up on his bed, sound asleep in a bundle of blankets, which you carefully extricate him from before heading up to Satan’s room.

You quietly open the door to an angry pair of blue-green eyes. Satan, trapped by his shorter-than-usual legs and the many piles of books surrounding him, takes a deep breath before letting out an indignant wail of “Y/N!” The scream wakes Belphie, who also begins to cry, obviously cranky from being woken from his nap. You scoop up the toddler, freeing Satan from his dusty book prison. The combined weight of both squirming, cranky demons makes your back and shoulders ache, so you decide to drop them off before going to find the final two. You deliver them to their brothers on the couch, giving the same command to them. Before you can leave, Mammon’s heartbreaking sobs and hiccupping requests for you finally cause you to break, and you scoop up the white-haired toddler before heading off to try Levi’s room.

Your normally grumpy otaku is seated on the floor, arms crossed while tears stream down his face. You kneel in front of him carefully. “Hey, buddy, did you miss me?”

“No.” This response isn’t exactly unexpected. Levi is stubborn on the best of days, and being a toddler would probably only make him more contrary. “Well, do you want to go downstairs with everyone else?”

“No!” You sigh. “Ok, then I’ve got to leave you here, honey.”

“No, no!”

“So you want me to stay?”

“No, no, no!” You shake your head, standing up while Mammon continues to cling to you tightly, readying your final option. “Well, I’ve got to go find Lucifer still, so you can come with me or stay here.”

“NO!” This was obviously the most upsetting thing Levi had ever heard, but you walk slowly out of the room, ignoring his dissent. Before you reach the door, the third oldest has attached himself to the back of your leg while the second oldest nuzzles into your shoulder. You find Lucifer pacing his room, which is normally worrying. However, the familiarly serious expression on the adorable face of a toddler. “Lucifer, do you want to come with me? Everyone else is downstairs.”

“Don’t need help.” Surprisingly eloquent. “What if I promised you music?”

He looks and you suspiciously. “Music here.”

“Can you reach the record player, honey?”

“Don’ call me that!” You seem to have offended him, but his current pouting face is much less intimidating than his normal annoyed expression. “Alright, Lucifer. Would you like to help me watch the others? I really could use another set of eyes.”

The oldest brother considers you for a second before grabbing your hand in his own tiny one and leads you downstairs without another word. You settle the other two onto the couch--Mammon taking significantly more effort to detach than Levi, who is eager to prove he doesn’t want your affection or attention. Lucifer struggles to pull himself up onto the couch, giving you an offended look when you try to help him. Beel tries to rock a cranky Belphie back to sleep, his stomach rumbling as Satan begins to wail over the indignation of having to sit on the same couch as Lucifer. As Satan’s face turns red, Mammon reaches for you again, tears beginning to form in those blue eyes as his lower lip quivers. Levi continues to turn pointedly away from you, looking at you out of the corner of his eye for some kind of reaction as Asmo is content to stare at the mirror hanging on the wall, admiring his own reflection. “Alright, can anyone tell me what happened?”

Blank looks are the only reply to that question, so you try again. “Are we toddlers with normal brains or just toddlers?” More blank looks. Well, at least they recognize you. You obviously can’t force them to sit on this couch via pact forever, but you also can’t take care of seven toddlers on your own. Who can you call? You pull your D.D.D from your pocket as Mammon begins to sob uncontrollably, contemplating your contact list before dialing a number. “Hey, Dia, I need a favor. Would you and B--Mammon, sweetheart, calm down, I need to use the phone, I’ll be done in a second--sorry, would you two happen to have some space in your schedule to help me with something? I’m at my wits’ end and don’t know who else to call.”


	2. Recruiting Backup

“Of course, Y/N, anything for a friend!” Diavolo was delighted to have an excuse to ignore the paperwork on his desk, despite the pointed look he knew Barbatos was sending his way. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Toddlers.” The demon’s brow furrows--he can’t have heard that right. “Come again?”

“The brothers seem to have been turned into toddlers. Don’t ask me how, I wasn’t home at the time. Satan, honey, if your socks are that upsetting, just take them-- No, don’t throw them at Lucifer! Dia, I really can’t handle seven toddlers on my own. I know you have a busy schedule, but I can promise adorable toddlers and my endless appreciation?” The desperation in your voice combined with the concept of getting to see a tiny version of Lucifer is all the convincing Diavolo needs. “Of course we can spare some time. Need us to bring anything?”

“Food. You know how Beel is.” He nods sympathetically. “I’ll see if we can get something together. We’ll be right over, don’t you worry.”

“Thank you so mu-- Beel, that is not food, spit that out!” The line goes quiet, and Diavolo decides he should hang up for you. “Barbatos, we’re going out! There’s an emergency situation at the House of Lamentation that requires extra hands and large amounts of food.”

When you finally hear a knock at the front door, you almost cry from relief--you actually do upon seeing the food in Barbatos’s arms. Diavolo is almost vibrating from excitement. “Where’s Lucifer?” He notices Mammon glaring at him from your arms. “Oh, it’s better than I could have ever imagined! This one is Mammon, right? He’s precious like this.”

The toddler looks mildly offended before he returns to burying his face in your shoulder. Diavolo looks undeterred by this rejection, bounding into the house in search of his close friend. You turn your attention to Barbatos. “I’m so sorry for the interruption, B, I know how busy you two are.” Barbatos gives you a tired smile, “I’m sure the young master would’ve hated to miss this opportunity. Is there anything I can do?”

“Well, Beel ate all the premade food in the kitchen. Do you think you could bake something for him? As long as he has food he’s content to help watch Belphie.”

“And Belphegor?”

“Just wants to nap.” The butler nods understandingly. “I’m sure I can occupy Beel, Y/N.” You hear a triumphant cry from down the hall, where Diavolo is holding up an embarrassed looking Lucifer who he immediately begins cooing over. 

“Dia, would you help me move one of the armchairs into the kitchen for Beel and Belphie?” The future ruler of Devildom pouts in your direction. “But look at him, Y/N, he’s so small.”

“And he’ll probably still be just as small when you finish moving the chair.” He shakes his head, but puts Lucifer down--the dark-haired toddler looks resigned to this experience--and the two of you move one of the larger armchairs into the kitchen. You situate an excited Beel and a sleeping Belphie in the chair. “Can you watch your brother for me while Barbatos makes you a treat, honey?”

Beel nods as hard as he can, hugging Belphie protectively. “I can watch Bephie, yeah.” You ruffle his hair before turning to an impatient Diavolo. “Dia, would you mind reading to Satan and Lucifer? It’s about the only thing the two of them can agree on right now.”

He seems thrilled by this assignment, and you get the three of them settled on the couch. Of course, Satan immediately begins to glower over the absolute insult to his existence that is his favorite book being read to him, but you eventually get him to settle down. “Call me if he has another meltdown, Dia,” you lean in closer to whisper into his ear, “and send me any photos you take.” The demon nods at you dutifully, and you return your attention to the other three toddlers. Mammon is content to be in physical contact with you and Asmo is happy to amuse himself, but Levi…

“Do you want to play a game, Levi?”

“No.”

“Well, we could listen to music?”

“No.”

“Video games?”

“No!”

“Alright, we can just be quiet--”

“NO!” A knock at the front door stops you from tearing your own hair out, and a very confused Solomon quickly finds a toddler Levi attached to the front of legs. He looks at you, “Do I want to know?”

“No, but could you take him up to his room and watch stuff with him? You’re the first person he’s actually walked up to since I got home.” The sorcerer shrugs, lifting Levi into his arms. “Well, that was what I came over to do anyway. I’ll keep it appropriate.”

Levi pats Solomon’s hair as they approach the stairs. “Salmon.” He sighs, “Yes, Salmon’s here. Let’s do this thing.”

You feel significantly better after witnessing that interaction. This leaves you with Mammon--who just wants cuddles--and Asmo--who is happy to stand with his hands on one of the long mirrors in the house and stare at himself. However, after only a few minutes, you hear a bereft wail from the kitchen: “Y/N!”

Fearing the worst, you immediately run to the kitchen, where you find Belphie sobbing while Beel tries to comfort him, holding back tears himself. As soon as you enter, however, they both stop, still sniffling. You kiss both of them on the top of the head and promise to come check on them in a minute--Mammon’s lip starts quivering, so you give him one for good measure, but another scream from the main room has you scrambling for the door. On your way out of the kitchen, your distracted brain decides that you’d left Barbatos out, so you place a quick kiss on his cheek before running to check on Satan and Lucifer. The butler freezes, staring at his baking as his brain goes blank. It takes him a few moments to resume his task, with his cheeks a light shade of pink as he tries to ignore what just happened.

Satan has become enraged for reasons unknown, which lead to the unceremonious launching of the book Diavolo had been reading to the two toddlers--it takes a combined effort from you and Diavolo to get him to settle back down. You pick up the book, acquiring a passenger on your leg along the way as Asmo decides he’s been neglected for too long. You return the book, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss the tops of all three occupants’ heads before heading to the stairs so you can check on Levi. Diavolo watches you go with a growing grin and red-dusted cheeks before leaning over conspiratorially to Lucifer. “You don’t say anything about that to them, alright?”

Levi immediately stops making any sound as you enter the room and pointedly ignores you. Solomon gives you an exasperated look. “He missed you.”

“No!” Solomon ignores this, giving Asmodeus a once-over. “They’re all like this, then?”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t happen to know anything, would you?”

“Unfortunately, no. We’ll have to wait for them to go back to normal to find out.” He notices your crestfallen expression and hastily adds, “but if nothing changes by tomorrow, I’ll do my best to find a way to fix it.”

“Thanks, Salmon.” He rolls your eyes at the use of Levi’s mispronunciation, and you lean over to kiss the top of Levi’s head, which he endures with only a little mumbling. You hear a grumble from Mammon and, without thinking, plant a kiss on top of the nearest head of white hair before going to check on the twins again. Solomon was incredibly startled by the sudden affection and the immediate death-glare he receives from his movie-watching companion. You continue to make rounds to check on the brothers, who seem to get cranky over you being out of their sight for too long. Cheek and head kisses are frequently dispensed to mollify the toddlers—if a few miss their marks every now and then, your helpers don’t complain about it. After all, toddlers are exhausting, and you’ve been on your feet all day. No need to stress you over nothing.


	3. How do You Hit Snooze on a Person?

The time between the meltdowns gets shorter and shorter as the day progresses until you finally decide it’s time to wind down for the day. Barbatos assists you in making sure everyone is fed, and you briefly consider whether or not you should bathe them before deciding they can do that themselves whenever they return to normal. No need to make this experience more awkward than it already is. You show your helpers to the door, thanking each of them for their assistance in your hour of need. However, you catch Diavolo’s arm before he can leave. “Dia, whose room do you think would have the biggest bed?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “If I had to guess, Lucifer. Why?”

“I don’t want to spend the whole night running between their rooms checking on everyone. I don’t have room for seven toddlers in my bed, Dia.” Diavolo’s expression turns teasing. “What about one demon?”

You shove the future king of Devildom out the door, much to his amusement. “Good night, Diavolo!” With the door shut, you turn around and prepare yourself for the grueling task of getting seven toddlers to agree to sleep. With a cheery tone, you announce, “Who wants to have a sleepover in Lucifer’s room?”

Levi and Satan voice immediate concerns with this, Levi’s based on his eloquent argument of “No!” and Satan’s at the absolute affront of the idea of sharing a room with Lucifer. Both of these were expected, as is Lucifer’s grumbling over it being in his room. However, something else catches your attention--didn’t you start the night with seven toddlers? “Where are Beel and Belphie?”

As if on cue, the red-head wobbles out of the kitchen, struggling to carry his sleeping twin with him. Coming to an unsteady stop, Beel looks at you with the expression of a kicked puppy. “Hungry.”

“I know, sweetheart, but now it’s time for bed. You can have a big breakfast tomorrow.” He looks crestfallen, but agrees, allowing you to take Belphegor from him for the trip up the stairs, which Mammon is immediately displeased by. Levi initially refuses to go upstairs, choosing instead to plop down on the floor with arms crossed in protest, but as you and the other six get farther away, you hear the quick pattering of tiny feet as he runs to catch up. Upon entering Lucifer’s room, you immediately see a problem. The bed has very few pillows and looks incredibly uncomfortable--no wonder he doesn’t sleep much. You place the already-sleeping Belphie on the bed and help Beel scramble up next to him, where he immediately curls around his twin protectively, almost using Belphie as a teddy bear. With the two youngest occupied, you turn to the remaining sleep-deprived toddlers. “Who wants to help me find some more pillows and blankets?” 

To no one’s surprise, Levi does not, but he also doesn’t want to get on the bed with the twins, so you elect to ignore him and take your small adventuring party to raid the rest of the rooms. The progress is slow, as is expected. Lucifer apparently picked up the pillow that Satan wanted to carry--which also happens to be every single pillow--making trade negotiations futile. Mammon is incredibly distressed by the fact that you cannot carry pillows and blankets and also him. Asmodeus keeps getting distracted, but overall is the most helpful of the four, probably because he is the most interested in getting to sleep. It takes a lot of effort, but you finally manage to make Lucifer’s bed look hospitable. 

Getting everyone settled, however, is another story. Everyone seems to want to be as close to you as possible, but that comes with certain issues; Satan does not want to be near Lucifer, Levi doesn’t want you to think he wants to be near you, Asmo wants to be held by everyone, Beel simultaneously want to be holding you and Belphie--something very overwhelming for his toddler-brain to figure out--and Mammon doesn’t want anyone else to be touching you. However, compromises are finally reached and everyone finds themselves in, at the bare minimum, an acceptable place for sleeping. 

You struggle to stay awake until you’re almost certain the last of the brothers has drifted off, just in case one of them needs something. Once you are certain everyone is settled, you allow yourself to succumb to the sheer exhaustion of what has been certainly one of your oddest days in Devildom. Your dreams are pleasant, if a little hazy, but you are rudely pulled from them all too quickly.

As you start to wake up, you vaguely process that it’s harder to breathe than it was when you went to sleep. There’s an incredible weight on top of you, compressing your ribs and stomach. Well, you had a good run. You’re going to die in Lucifer’s room, crushed underneath whatever small mountain had spawned on you while you slept. Then said mountain’s stomach grumbled, and Beel rolled off of you as the rest of the brothers began to wake up with varying levels of confusion. “I will not be answering any questions until the following conditions are met,” you announce, “let me sleep until I don’t feel like I got hit with a train, or bring me breakfast and coffee.”

You snuggle closer into the nearest source of warmth, hugging your prisoner who seems to tense up from the contact. The bed shifts as the other six demons get up, hopefully to meet your demands. Whichever you have repurposed as a pillow hesitantly places an arm around you, and you slowly begin to drift off once again. However, sleep escapes your grasp as your D.D.D. buzzes in your pocket.

Then it buzzes again.

And again.

Finally, it rings and you pull it out of your pocket, regretting the fact that you hadn’t changed out of your clothes before falling asleep. Your D.D.D. could have been in your room instead of keeping you from sleep. You open your eyes no wider than necessary and read “Lord Diavolo” on the screen before declining the call. Barely a minute later, you hear the door open downstairs and curse under your breath. “I swear to god, if that’s Dia, I might kill him.” Your pillow stiffens slightly, probably because of the direct threat you just made after sending the future king of Devildom to voicemail. The bedroom door bursts open, and Diavolo’s too-loud-for-how-awake-you-are voice fills the room, “Just the two people I had been looking for! It’s good to see you back to your full glory, old friend.”

“It’s good to be back, Diavolo.” So, your pillow is Lucifer. You’re entirely too tired to care about this realization as you grumble, “A little quieter, please, Dia.” 

You feel the bed shift as Diavolo settles on your other side as a hand pats you gently on the head. “Apologies, Y/N. When you didn’t answer, I had to come to check on how things were going. Couldn’t have our exchange student dying to a house of chaos, now could we? I see you’re getting some well-deserved rest.”

“No thanks to a certain extraordinarily loud prince.” You again feel Lucifer stiffen at your blatant disregard for Diavolo’s rank, but the bed shakes from Diavolo’s laughter, hopefully sparing you from any lecture until later. “Message received. I just thought Lucifer would be interested in some photos I took yesterday.”

His tone has a hinting, teasing sound to it that immediately has you sitting up and rubbing your eyes. “Of Lucifer?” Diavolo scoffs, “Of course, who do you take me for? I’ve got a few of everyone else as well.”

You can feel the fear radiating off of Lucifer. “Photos of what, exactly, Diavolo?”

“Oh, has Y/N not explained yet?”

“They demanded coffee and food before explanations. Would you be willing to provide in their stead?” Diavolo’s delight is obvious. “Absolutely! Now, Lucifer, you know I find you simply beautiful as is, but may I say you and your brothers made for absolutely adorable toddlers.”

You can feel the wheels in Lucifer’s head turning as he processes both compliments before he lunges for Diavolo’s D.D.D. “You have to delete them!”

“I absolutely do not! They’re my photos, Lucifer!” Diavolo pushes himself off the bed and out of reach of Lucifer, slipping the device back into his pocket before giving you a conspiratorial wink. “Besides, I’ve already sent them to Y/N. Think of it as a reward for all of their hard work yesterday.”

You quickly unlock your own D.D.D--as promised, your messages from Diavolo contain dozens of photos of your beloved demons, including Levi pouting on the carpet, you from behind holding a clinging Mammon, Asmo posing for himself in the mirror, Satan screaming while Lucifer looks at him with the toddler version of his normal unamused expression, and Beel and Belphie in the kitchen, most likely taken by Barbatos. As the avatar of Pride proceeds to chase the crown prince of all demons for the sole purpose of retrieving these incriminating photos, you allow yourself to slump back into the pile of pillows and blankets you’d arranged the night before. They’re all adults again, they can handle themselves for a while. Hopefully, anyway.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read this! All the comments really made my day. I really enjoyed writing this, so let me know if you'd be interested in more Obey Me fun!


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